Parental advice needed

[Jilly]

In all honesty, Mr. Plow, it's great to be active about this now. As much as I look at porn and know that the majority of men do as well, it is something that can be addictive and provide harmful ideas about how women are to be treated and an 11 year old is not quite ready for that sort of discussion about being demeaned, etc. That being said, I think it's really important that when you have the discussion that you teach him that masturbation, etc and all this is normal for his age and for sexuality. It's your job, however, to keep lines of communication open for the talks that will come later. While it's scary that he is only 11, that's the normal age for boys and girls to start wondering about their own ability to use their bodies.

I have no idea if you are a church going person or not, but in our denomination we have an actual "sex camp" for kids a year older than him, that teaches kids not the whole True Love Waits curriculum, but a more rational understanding of sex and what it means to be God's creation. The camp gives kids the tools they need to make sound decisions in regards to sexuality and also biologically teaches them about how their bodies work so that it normalizes those feelings that puberty brings on of attraction to others and fascination with masturbating, etc. You can PM me if you want some info on that, or if you want some of the tools the curriculum itself uses. I think what it teaches is life changing and empowering for young people.

[CoMoChief]

Originally Posted by Jilly

In all honesty, Mr. Plow, it's great to be active about this now. As much as I look at porn and know that the majority of men do as well, it is something that can be addictive and provide harmful ideas about how women are to be treated and an 11 year old is not quite ready for that sort of discussion about being demeaned, etc. That being said, I think it's really important that when you have the discussion that you teach him that masturbation, etc and all this is normal for his age and for sexuality. It's your job, however, to keep lines of communication open for the talks that will come later. While it's scary that he is only 11, that's the normal age for boys and girls to start wondering about their own ability to use their bodies.

I have no idea if you are a church going person or not, but in our denomination we have an actual "sex camp" for kids a year older than him, that teaches kids not the whole True Love Waits curriculum, but a more rational understanding of sex and what it means to be God's creation. The camp gives kids the tools they need to make sound decisions in regards to sexuality and also biologically teaches them about how their bodies work so that it normalizes those feelings that puberty brings on of attraction to others and fascination with masturbating, etc. You can PM me if you want some info on that, or if you want some of the tools the curriculum itself uses. I think what it teaches is life changing and empowering for young people.

Horrible idea. No teenager is gonna wanna listen to that crap.

[Jilly]

Originally Posted by CoMoChief

Horrible idea. No teenager is gonna wanna listen to that crap.

yeah, it's the most successful camp we have and has changed the lives of thousands of teens, but whatever

[Brock]

Originally Posted by Jilly

yeah, it's the most successful camp we have and has changed the lives of thousands of teens, but whatever

Yeah, sure it has.

[Jilly]

Originally Posted by Brock

Yeah, sure it has.

**** you, honestly. God forbid the Church actually address the subject in a rational way. Maybe the actual honesty of the camp is life changing. And since you've never worked with anything like that, perhaps you should shut the **** up about something you know nothing about.

[healthpellets]

Originally Posted by Jilly

I have no idea if you are a church going person or not, but in our denomination we have an actual "sex camp" for kids a year older than him, that teaches kids not the whole True Love Waits curriculum, but a more rational understanding of sex and what it means to be God's creation. The camp gives kids the tools they need to make sound decisions in regards to sexuality and also biologically teaches them about how their bodies work so that it normalizes those feelings that puberty brings on of attraction to others and fascination with masturbating, etc. You can PM me if you want some info on that, or if you want some of the tools the curriculum itself uses. I think what it teaches is life changing and empowering for young people.

look, i'm sure you're good intentioned and what not. but the last thing we need is irrational thought in a totally logical situation.

sex is a very easy subject to talk about. it's very basic on both a biological level and an emotional level. there's no reason to introduce abstract ideas such as God's love and "what it means to be God's creation". it just muddys the waters.

the last thing I want is my child learning about sex and how it relates to some abstract religious world view.

people have sex. my child will have sex. will he have it for the first time when he's 15, or 25? who knows. but what he needs is a thorough understanding of the physical and emotional consequences of the act.

he needs to know that teenage girls (at to a lesser extent, teenage boys) are very emotional creatures, and that when you have sex with a girl, especially if it's her first time, she's never going to leave you alone. ever. you're always going to be connected on that level. and that can be a very difficult situation to get out of.

the emotionality of it all is crazy enough without injecting any religious or moral overtones in to the situation.

[Jilly]

Originally Posted by healthpellets

look, i'm sure you're good intentioned and what not. but the last thing we need is irrational thought in a totally logical situation.

sex is a very easy subject to talk about. it's very basic on both a biological level and an emotional level. there's no reason to introduce abstract ideas such as God's love and "what it means to be God's creation". it just muddys the waters.

the last thing I want is my child learning about sex and how it relates to some abstract religious world view.

people have sex. my child will have sex. will he have it for the first time when he's 15, or 25? who knows. but what he needs is a thorough understanding of the physical and emotional consequences of the act.

he needs to know that teenage girls (at to a lesser extent, teenage boys) are very emotional creatures, and that when you have sex with a girl, especially if it's her first time, she's never going to leave you alone. ever. you're always going to be connected on that level. and that can be a very difficult situation to get out of.

the emotionality of it all is crazy enough without injecting any religious or moral overtones in to the situation.

I could see how you might think that about it, however, the curriculum actually focuses more on anatomy and birth control.

[wutamess]

Originally Posted by healthpellets

look, i'm sure you're good intentioned and what not. but the last thing we need is irrational thought in a totally logical situation.

sex is a very easy subject to talk about. it's very basic on both a biological level and an emotional level. there's no reason to introduce abstract ideas such as God's love and "what it means to be God's creation". it just muddys the waters.

the last thing I want is my child learning about sex and how it relates to some abstract religious world view.

people have sex. my child will have sex. will he have it for the first time when he's 15, or 25? who knows. but what he needs is a thorough understanding of the physical and emotional consequences of the act.

he needs to know that teenage girls (at to a lesser extent, teenage boys) are very emotional creatures, and that when you have sex with a girl, especially if it's her first time, she's never going to leave you alone. ever. you're always going to be connected on that level. and that can be a very difficult situation to get out of.

the emotionality of it all is crazy enough without injecting any religious or moral overtones in to the situation.

This. The world is not viewing it from religions eyes... Neither will my child. Other than the "meant to be good" no sex until marriage part. Religion will be heavily preached on that aspect

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by healthpellets

look, i'm sure you're good intentioned and what not. but the last thing we need is irrational thought in a totally logical situation.

sex is a very easy subject to talk about. it's very basic on both a biological level and an emotional level. there's no reason to introduce abstract ideas such as God's love and "what it means to be God's creation". it just muddys the waters.

the last thing I want is my child learning about sex and how it relates to some abstract religious world view.

people have sex. my child will have sex. will he have it for the first time when he's 15, or 25? who knows. but what he needs is a thorough understanding of the physical and emotional consequences of the act.

he needs to know that teenage girls (at to a lesser extent, teenage boys) are very emotional creatures, and that when you have sex with a girl, especially if it's her first time, she's never going to leave you alone. ever. you're always going to be connected on that level. and that can be a very difficult situation to get out of.

the emotionality of it all is crazy enough without injecting any religious or moral overtones in to the situation.

Originally Posted by wutamess

This. The world is not viewing it from religions eyes... Neither will my child. Other than the "meant to be good" no sex until marriage part. Religion will be heavily preached on that aspect

The guy is looking for advice on ChiefsPlanet for Pete's sake. I'd bet large on the idea that Jilly's Sex Camp program has more solid ideas on this subject than the average ChiefsPlanet yahoo.* That's not to say that the best idea of all won't come from one of the heathens around here, but her program is bound to be competitive with the average dose of advice CP has to offer. Mr. Plow can decide what makes sense to him.

________________________________
* BTW, I'm including myself in this group.

[Gonzo]

Originally Posted by Jilly

In all honesty, Mr. Plow, it's great to be active about this now. As much as I look at porn and know that the majority of men do as well, it is something that can be addictive and provide harmful ideas about how women are to be treated and an 11 year old is not quite ready for that sort of discussion about being demeaned, etc. That being said, I think it's really important that when you have the discussion that you teach him that masturbation, etc and all this is normal for his age and for sexuality. It's your job, however, to keep lines of communication open for the talks that will come later. While it's scary that he is only 11, that's the normal age for boys and girls to start wondering about their own ability to use their bodies.

I have no idea if you are a church going person or not, but in our denomination we have an actual "sex camp" for kids a year older than him, that teaches kids not the whole True Love Waits curriculum, but a more rational understanding of sex and what it means to be God's creation. The camp gives kids the tools they need to make sound decisions in regards to sexuality and also biologically teaches them about how their bodies work so that it normalizes those feelings that puberty brings on of attraction to others and fascination with masturbating, etc. You can PM me if you want some info on that, or if you want some of the tools the curriculum itself uses. I think what it teaches is life changing and empowering for young people.

Can you imagine what the macaroni art looks like at that camp???

You could sell that shit to the blind for 300-400 bucks a pop. Holy shit!
Posted via Mobile Device

[bevischief]

Originally Posted by Gonzo

Can you imagine what the macaroni art looks like at that camp???

You could sell that shit to the blind for 300-400 bucks a pop. Holy shit!
Posted via Mobile Device

There was a this time at band camp...

[Jilly]

What I'm saying is that the porn is secondary to the hormones at work, I think it's healthy at this point to teach him that what's happening is normal, give him some solid material to use, and let him know there are appropriate and inappropriate ways of satisfying what is for humans a basic need.

[NewChief]

My dad had a talk with me when I was like 16 years old or so because he found my brother's porn stash and figured out I'd been looking at them. My parents were extremely religious, but even my dad had a "real" talk with me. He said something like, "Son, it's natural to want to look at porn. There's nothing really wrong with it. The main problem is that it gives you a skewed and inaccurate view of women. You know that your mom and I don't agree with pornography and don't want it in our house, so I threw away those magazines."

I think what he said about porn not being a "real" depiction of women is a good point.

[The Rick]

Originally Posted by NewPhin

My dad had a talk with me when I was like 16 years old or so because he found my brother's porn stash and figured out I'd been looking at them. My parents were extremely religious, but even my dad had a "real" talk with me. He said something like, "Son, it's natural to want to look at porn. There's nothing really wrong with it. The main problem is that it gives you a skewed and inaccurate view of women. You know that your mom and I don't agree with pornography and don't want it in our house, so I threw away those magazines."

I think what he said about porn not being a "real" depiction of women is a good point.

This is great advice.

[patteeu]

My wife started talking to our girls about anatomy/sex when they were 5 or 6 and eased into it. Once every couple of months, she'd take one of our two daughters and I'd take the other one on a "special day". Mom's special days always included a talk and then maybe some shopping or lunch. Dad's usually included a movie or a trip to the park or something like that. By the time the girls got to puberty, they were pretty used to open talks about the subject. Hopefully it will end well instead of turning them into coke-addicted strippers or something like that. Or worse, I hope they don't become shopaholics.