Life If you knew the time was coming, would you give things to people you want to have - Page 3

Gracie Dean · 10-31-2010, 05:20 PM

while you still could, or would you leave a letter detailing who should get what?

wouldn't it mean more when still able to visit about said things?

Just curious...

what would you do...

How would you feel if you were a receivee?

**FRCDFED** · 10-31-2010, 10:38 PM

I don't post very often but I have been a member of the board for a long time and was lurking long before that. I have never attended any of the CP events nor have I met any of the Planeteers. However, I have come to know some people through their threads.

I have read many of your posts and have to say that this thread says a lot about you. The mere fact that you are thinking about others shows how tremendous you are as a person.

My guess is that you are a treasure to those around you and that you have already given them the most valuable and precious thing they could ever want.....you!

Everything else is just things but are a way to remember someone. I always pray with my daughter for an opportunity to be a blessing to someone else.

In my opinion, if there is something of sentimental value that you wish for someone to have then I would give it to them in advance. The reason would be that if someone was in that position and felt strongly enough about me as a person to give it to me then I would be grateful for the opportunity to reciprocate and express to them how they have impacted my life and how thankful I would be that they were thinking about me at such a time. I would be upset if I didn't get that opportunity.

I think some people would be a little uneasy at first to accept it; however, giving them the opportunity to express themselves at a time when they think they won't get it will add to your legacy and further increase the impact you would have on someones life. Not that it is necessary.

I hope this doesn't come across as useless babble.....

God Bless!

Brenton

-King- · 11-01-2010, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FRCDFED

I don't post very often but I have been a member of the board for a long time and was lurking long before that. I have never attended any of the CP events nor have I met any of the Planeteers. However, I have come to know some people through their threads.

I have read many of your posts and have to say that this thread says a lot about you. The mere fact that you are thinking about others shows how tremendous you are as a person.

My guess is that you are a treasure to those around you and that you have already given them the most valuable and precious thing they could ever want.....you!

Everything else is just things but are a way to remember someone. I always pray with my daughter for an opportunity to be a blessing to someone else.

In my opinion, if there is something of sentimental value that you wish for someone to have then I would give it to them in advance. The reason would be that if someone was in that position and felt strongly enough about me as a person to give it to me then I would be grateful for the opportunity to reciprocate and express to them how they have impacted my life and how thankful I would be that they were thinking about me at such a time. I would be upset if I didn't get that opportunity.

I think some people would be a little uneasy at first to accept it; however, giving them the opportunity to express themselves at a time when they think they won't get it will add to your legacy and further increase the impact you would have on someones life. Not that it is necessary.

I hope this doesn't come across as useless babble.....

God Bless!

Brenton

Great post.
Posted via Mobile Device

ChiefsrGood · 11-01-2010, 12:45 AM

Wow Noswad after reading that it truly makes me feel like a total douchebag for taking life for granted most of the time. Best wishes.

Silock · 11-01-2010, 01:21 AM

This thread is really ****ing depressing.

patteeu · 11-01-2010, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

I think its what makes you feel better.

Hang in there. Your a fighter.

This. Do what makes you happy.

patteeu · 11-01-2010, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noswad

hubby doesn't even want to discuss it

I think It would have more meaning if I did it in person. Maybe tell them the special meaning or thought behind it.

We only have one child so really I wouldnt' anticipate much fighting, but I am conflicted as to how those receiving stuff would feel

In all likelihood, they'll feel awkward and they'll be in denial to some degree, not wanting to think about what's really happening. But if you feel this way, you should do it in person because it makes you happier and because in the long run it will give them a more personal memory to cherish.

Mr. Plow · 11-01-2010, 08:48 AM

Ugh.....this thread makes me depressed.

Do what you feel is best for you. Personally, I'd like the opportunity to sit down with each individual person and explain why I am giving them a particular item and why I want them to have it.

ROYC75 · 11-01-2010, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noswad

while you still could, or would you leave a letter detailing who should get what?

wouldn't it mean more when still able to visit about said things?

Just curious...

what would you do...

How would you feel if you were a receivee?

Pam,
Yes, it's a good thing to do. But if there are jealous family members, you get to see, hear them fight, etc. That part is ugly, it's sad but there are time this happens. Sometimes that happens after a person is gone, so take your pick.

I'm sadden to hear that you have gotten this far, I too feel your pain with Carrie. She is still holding on, but for how long, I don't know.She heads back to the doctors today at 3:30, they are amazed that she not only lived past the 19 months, but the 6 year law of averages when once diagnosed with her disease.She has lived life her way, done things her way without regard of what she want to do, like the song, Live life like you are dying. We Have been making arraignments for her, she wants all things done and settled before her time. With 4 kids & 9 grand kids, she is leaving a lot of certain things for each child.

Take care and May God Bless You, You have our thoughts and prayers.

ROYC75 · 11-01-2010, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by patteeu

In all likelihood, they'll feel awkward and they'll be in denial to some degree, not wanting to think about what's really happening. But if you feel this way, you should do it in person because it makes you happier and because in the long run it will give them a more personal memory to cherish.

We are feeling this effect on a few of the kids ........ the youngest ones are too young to know.

**loochy** · 11-01-2010, 09:29 AM

Everyone should make out a detailed will as early as possible, even if you aren't sick. The amount of quabbling and other bad feelings that may result from arguing over items will be greatly minimized. Just make one for everyone else's sake.

Slayer Diablo · 11-01-2010, 10:05 AM

I would actually create a highly-complex puzzle that no single person who knew me can solve entirely on their own; rather, several of them will have to work together in order to find my treasure...and an extra part of themselves.

Gracie Dean · 11-01-2010, 04:35 PM

Please guys don't be depressed. I have come to terms with it. I beat the odds once, I am lucky.

Thank you for all the comments and advice

**CrazyPhuD** · 11-01-2010, 05:32 PM

I think for something that has significance or emotional value definitely give it in person. For more everyday things I'm not as sure, it would tend to feel a bit like having to address what is going to happen everytime you give them something. There's no denying it, but it can be very emotionally draining to have to confront it. Sometimes it can be better to live life as normally as you can for as long as you can. Not sure if that makes sense.

LOCOChief · 11-01-2010, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noswad

Please guys don't be depressed. I have come to terms with it. I beat the odds once, I am lucky.

Thank you for all the comments and advice

If you beat them once you can beat them again, and I'm sure you have many that want more than anything for you to beat the odds. Maybe the best thing you can give them is comfort of knowing that your willing to fight the fight and that also reminds us the gift of life.

I have no idea how to pass on your material posessions or how it would make them feel to receive, and I've wondered this myself.

Oddsmakers are oddsmakers and not infallible by a looooong shot.

I hope you can and will keep fighting and enjoy your life.

**Iowanian** · 11-01-2010, 06:12 PM

When my grandad found out he had brain cancer, one day after doing some work over there he called me in. He had a very large family and I am the oldest grandson.

Basically, took me back to his room where his gun cabinet was kept, and we went through his guns, he told me where he got which one, his grandfather's shotgun, his rifles, the beretta he'd taken from a German in WWII(which was to go to my eldest uncle). We'd talked about them a few years earlier, mostly for curiosity and conversation.

Anyway, he said "pick one and take it home with you". I knew that his grandfather's shotgun had the most family history, but I already had a shotgun from my other great grandfather and wanted to share. I chose his .22 rifle, because I remember many times being with him shooting varmits or butcher hogs/cattle....Including the time I've shared here about being small and fetching a corn cob on request.

I felt like an asshole leaving. It didn't feel right taking it home but he insisted and after I said there were alot of others that might feel they should have it, he said that I was the one he wanted to have it. So I reluctantly did. Its' the only time I've never been happy heading home with a new gun. I felt almost ill, but at the same time, a very deep sense of pride.

It wasn't long that things went south and he wouldn't have been able to have that conversation. After he passed, I talked with my uncles about what he had told me, why my rifle had a broken trigger tip...and there was 1 gun for each of them to choose.

He said "this is to be shot, not kept in a museum" or something close to that.
I felt a tickle and couldn't help smiling after using it to shoot an opossum I'd caught in a trap last week and thought about my grandpa on the drive to work.

I guess I don't know if it helps. The conversation wasn't fun for me because of the reality of what I knew it meant, but I'm damn glad I spent 30 minutes having it. He knows that I'll do the best I can with the name he left for me, and I'll eventually give his rifle to my son.

When I was little, I was shown a photo of myself as a baby, with my dad, grandpa and great gp....I was told how special it was for 4 generations of men....I'd wanted that moment for my own, and my biggest disappointment with losing him is that he was a few months short of meeting my son, and taking that picture.

In short....Its' not the items that matter. Its' the reasons the people will remember them.

10-31-2010, 05:20 PM
Gracie Dean MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	If you knew the time was coming, would you give things to people you want to have while you still could, or would you leave a letter detailing who should get what? wouldn't it mean more when still able to visit about said things? Just curious... what would you do... How would you feel if you were a receivee?
Posts: 12,955

10-31-2010, 10:38 PM	#31
FRCDFED Line'em up Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: somewhere out there Casino cash: $8956297	I don't post very often but I have been a member of the board for a long time and was lurking long before that. I have never attended any of the CP events nor have I met any of the Planeteers. However, I have come to know some people through their threads. I have read many of your posts and have to say that this thread says a lot about you. The mere fact that you are thinking about others shows how tremendous you are as a person. My guess is that you are a treasure to those around you and that you have already given them the most valuable and precious thing they could ever want.....you! Everything else is just things but are a way to remember someone. I always pray with my daughter for an opportunity to be a blessing to someone else. In my opinion, if there is something of sentimental value that you wish for someone to have then I would give it to them in advance. The reason would be that if someone was in that position and felt strongly enough about me as a person to give it to me then I would be grateful for the opportunity to reciprocate and express to them how they have impacted my life and how thankful I would be that they were thinking about me at such a time. I would be upset if I didn't get that opportunity. I think some people would be a little uneasy at first to accept it; however, giving them the opportunity to express themselves at a time when they think they won't get it will add to your legacy and further increase the impact you would have on someones life. Not that it is necessary. I hope this doesn't come across as useless babble..... God Bless! Brenton
Posts: 3,200

11-01-2010, 12:45 AM	#33
ChiefsrGood Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Casino cash: $10004900	Wow Noswad after reading that it truly makes me feel like a total douchebag for taking life for granted most of the time. Best wishes.
Posts: 614

11-01-2010, 01:21 AM	#34
Silock MVP Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Overland Park Casino cash: $10020882	This thread is really ****ing depressing.
Posts: 19,908

11-01-2010, 08:48 AM	#37
Mr. Plow In Search of a Life Join Date: Dec 2005 Casino cash: $-1572609	Ugh.....this thread makes me depressed. Do what you feel is best for you. Personally, I'd like the opportunity to sit down with each individual person and explain why I am giving them a particular item and why I want them to have it.
Posts: 31,703

11-01-2010, 09:29 AM	#40
loochy Hey Loochy, I'm hooome! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire Casino cash: $-1829603	Everyone should make out a detailed will as early as possible, even if you aren't sick. The amount of quabbling and other bad feelings that may result from arguing over items will be greatly minimized. Just make one for everyone else's sake. __________________ Hey Loochy, I'm hoooome!
Posts: 42,214

11-01-2010, 10:05 AM	#41
Slayer Diablo Cross with me Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $9994900	I would actually create a highly-complex puzzle that no single person who knew me can solve entirely on their own; rather, several of them will have to work together in order to find my treasure...and an extra part of themselves.
Posts: 11,673

11-01-2010, 04:35 PM	#42
Gracie Dean MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	Please guys don't be depressed. I have come to terms with it. I beat the odds once, I am lucky. Thank you for all the comments and advice
Posts: 12,955

11-01-2010, 05:32 PM	#43
CrazyPhuD Meow Join Date: Jun 2005 Casino cash: $10005050	I think for something that has significance or emotional value definitely give it in person. For more everyday things I'm not as sure, it would tend to feel a bit like having to address what is going to happen everytime you give them something. There's no denying it, but it can be very emotionally draining to have to confront it. Sometimes it can be better to live life as normally as you can for as long as you can. Not sure if that makes sense. __________________ "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t*rd by the clean end"
Posts: 8,523

11-01-2010, 06:12 PM	#45
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1638454	When my grandad found out he had brain cancer, one day after doing some work over there he called me in. He had a very large family and I am the oldest grandson. Basically, took me back to his room where his gun cabinet was kept, and we went through his guns, he told me where he got which one, his grandfather's shotgun, his rifles, the beretta he'd taken from a German in WWII(which was to go to my eldest uncle). We'd talked about them a few years earlier, mostly for curiosity and conversation. Anyway, he said "pick one and take it home with you". I knew that his grandfather's shotgun had the most family history, but I already had a shotgun from my other great grandfather and wanted to share. I chose his .22 rifle, because I remember many times being with him shooting varmits or butcher hogs/cattle....Including the time I've shared here about being small and fetching a corn cob on request. I felt like an asshole leaving. It didn't feel right taking it home but he insisted and after I said there were alot of others that might feel they should have it, he said that I was the one he wanted to have it. So I reluctantly did. Its' the only time I've never been happy heading home with a new gun. I felt almost ill, but at the same time, a very deep sense of pride. It wasn't long that things went south and he wouldn't have been able to have that conversation. After he passed, I talked with my uncles about what he had told me, why my rifle had a broken trigger tip...and there was 1 gun for each of them to choose. He said "this is to be shot, not kept in a museum" or something close to that. I felt a tickle and couldn't help smiling after using it to shoot an opossum I'd caught in a trap last week and thought about my grandpa on the drive to work. I guess I don't know if it helps. The conversation wasn't fun for me because of the reality of what I knew it meant, but I'm damn glad I spent 30 minutes having it. He knows that I'll do the best I can with the name he left for me, and I'll eventually give his rifle to my son. When I was little, I was shown a photo of myself as a baby, with my dad, grandpa and great gp....I was told how special it was for 4 generations of men....I'd wanted that moment for my own, and my biggest disappointment with losing him is that he was a few months short of meeting my son, and taking that picture. In short....Its' not the items that matter. Its' the reasons the people will remember them.
Posts: 62,946