Best Way for Revenge!

[God of Thunder]

Some may think this is childish.......and well, it is.

Anyway, my EX girlfriend, who is 24, is now dating a 38 year old. This is the dude she left me for. Anywho, she contacts me yesterday and wants to have DINNER as "friends" tonight so she can see me and just talk. She doesn't want it to be a date, but just friends.

Anyway, I suggest going to the Mavericks game after dinner and she doesn't want to go watch boring hockey.

Well......since she shit on me 100 times, is a liar, and a cheat, there ain't NO WAY IN HELL I will see this girl for dinner (I mean....honestly). So, I am going to go to the hockey game with my friend.

But.....what's the best course for revenge here?

Do I....

A. Lead her on for dinner all day, and then 20 minutes before hand, tell her plans have changed?

B. Not answer any calls/texts?

C. ???????

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

The thing is.......is she said she wanted to go, she might wait till she gets off at 5 to inquire about where.....or what time. I don't want her to text and cancel though, when I have the opportunity to beat her to the punch.

Since you're not listening to any of the quality advice, godofMTG10, be sure to keep posting update threads, including the one where you get arrested for stalking and crying out some song from her apartment yard.

[Pneuma]

Got this from here but I have done this before with success of getting a girl back and moving on from many more....good luck

So, you’ve had your heart broken, probably begged and tried to convince your ex to get back together with you and failed. Realising that staying in contact is causing you more pain than you can handle, you take the step of implementing this ‘No Contact’ (NC) that we advocate widely on the forum.

So what’s it about then? And what is going to happen?

Hopefully, most of the answers will be in this thread

What is No Contact?

While a seemingly simple question, there are variations of what ‘No Contact’ can mean.

1) You tell your ex that you won’t be contacting them and that they shouldn’t contact you.
2) You don’t tell your ex anything, and just drop off the face of the Earth.
3) You don’t tell your ex anything, you stop contacting them…but still allow them to contact you and you reply. (potentially damaging)

In my opinion, the most effective forms of NC are 1 and 2. They allow you to heal, as the ex isn’t given any way of providing you with hope (bait) or potentially emotionally damaging information (who wants to hear how great their life is without you?)

When starting NC, it is up to you what you want to say to your ex. Most people seem to say something along the lines of “Don’t call me unless you change your mind and want to give us another try”. It might also help to let them know that the window of opportunity to reconcile (from your perspective) will not be open forever.

You also may want to tell the ex why your cutting them out of your life – tell them it is so you can heal and move on. And in reality that IS why you’re doing it……


Why implement No Contact?

First and foremost, you are removing the source of your pain (your ex) from your life. If they aren’t in your life, they cannot hurt you – it’s as simple as that. And while the loss of the ex from your life in itself is painful, the benefits far outweigh the initial emotional turmoil.
No Contact allows you to get back on your feet and start to feel confident in who you are again. Remember a time when you were single and happy? Well No Contact is going to put you on the road to getting back to that point.
Some may be reluctant to take steps to regain independence, but you are useless to anyone (including your ex if they want you back) if you are unable to be happy with yourself.

No Contact can also serve another purpose, and this is the one that (if you are seeking reconciliation) will probably be used by you as inspiration to keep strong in avoiding picking up that phone or sending that email.
And that is of course, to send your ex a wake-up call and perhaps make them second-guess their decision to end the relationship.



Will No Contact bring my ex back?

Perhaps, perhaps not. There is no fool-proof way to get your ex back…if there were, we would all be using it and would all have our exes back.

There has to be some desire to reconcile inside your ex – NC will not create that desire, but it may certainly bring any underlying doubts they have to the surface. That does not mean that your ex will act on these doubts…but you can be certain that NC will at the very least make them realise just what life without you is like.



Will my ex miss me?

To be honest, it shouldn’t matter – you should be doing NC for YOU. Having said that, it is always easier to stay focussed on maintaining NC if you know that it is having at least some effect on your ex.
So, will they miss you? In most cases (unless you have become a thorn in their side), yes - absolutely.
For those who have exes that want to remain friends: Why do you think that is?
It’s because they want you in their life. Exes very rarely stay friends…so in effect, when an ex asks to stay friends they are essentially saying “I still want you in my life”.
They are not ready to let you go (yet), so by implementing NC you are forcing them to lose you right then and there. NC prevents the ex from using you to cushion the blow of the break-up….by weaning themselves off you slowly.
Without NC you can be certain that once your ex is back on their feet emotionally (helped there by you), that the ‘friendship’ that seemed so important to them at the time will be non-existent.
No Contact is a far better option than staying friends. Being friends causes you pain and allows your ex to heal quicker. NC causes your ex pain and allows you to heal quicker

Not exactly rocket science, huh?


When should I implement No Contact?

ASAP but you must be certain that you can stay strong and stick to it. NC isn’t a decision that should be reversed until you are completely healed. If you keep implementing NC and then breaking it, it sends a message to your ex that you are needy and haven’t got the strength or the conviction to follow through on your commitments. Using NC without being genuinely committed to it is a recipe for disaster – you will break it and look weak. And you if you try to use NC again, your ex will not be too bothered….because “You said that last time”.

That’s why NC should not be used as a ‘shock tactic’ – don’t expect to implement NC and for your ex to come running back to you in a week or even a month. If you use NC, you have to be in it for the long haul.




Will No Contact push my ex away?

If there is hope for your relationship, then no it won’t – it will make your ex think about their decision.
After a few weeks of NC, you’ll probably get worried and start deluding yourself with thoughts like “Maybe they’ve forgotten about me…and maybe they think I don’t still love them”.
If that’s the way you’re thinking, then how about considering this: If you have NC with your ex for a few weeks and then contact them to tell you that you still care…what message does that send?
It says to your ex “I implemented NC to move on and heal…and now 3 weeks down the track I haven’t moved on or healed at all.”
The ex will again know that they can still have you if they want you…and even if they don’t hear from you for another few weeks, they won’t be overly concerned – the last few weeks hadn’t diminished your feelings, so why would the ex think the next few will?
Not a bad little (HUGE) security boost for the ex there, huh? Not to mention a huge step backwards for your good self.


How long will I keep hurting?

For as long as you allow yourself to. Remember, the ex is now out of your life – they cannot hurt you. So if you’re still feeling pain it is coming from within you – not from them.
It is perfectly normal to miss your ex, and by miss I mean that some days will be almost unbearable.
Go out, meet with friends (don’t talk about the ex!) or if it’s late at night think about the things you didn’t like about your ex…and even revisit arguments you may have had with them. If you have to think about your ex, think about the negatives.

Thinking about the good times is pointless – there is no possibility of having them back at the moment, and to dwell on what you once had is ultimately self-destructive.

Ideally, you should be doing your best to not think about your ex – do whatever it takes and keep busy. The less you think about them, the less you will hurt. Soon enough, not thinking about them will become normal.


What if the ex breaks NC and calls/emails me?

Two options: Respond or don’t respond.

If you have completely given up hope or don’t wish to reconcile with your ex – ignore the contact and keep ignoring any further attempts at contact. Easy.

If you are seeking reconciliation, then it depends on what the ex says when they contact you.
If they are calling for a ‘catch up’, politely tell your ex that you were serious about NC and that they must respect your decision. This call may come after a few days, a few weeks or a few months. Don’t get into any discussions about yourself and what you’re up to – keep it short, and make it clear to your ex that NC isn’t just a whim….you are serious about it. Remind them, if it comes up, that friendship is not an option.

Make it clear that you are respecting their decision to end the relationship, and now they have to respect your decision to end contact.
If you are seeking reconciliation, you also have every right to question your ex about their intentions if they contact you. Do so at the beginning of the interaction – there’s no point having a great conversation with the ex and getting your hopes up only to find out at the end of the call that nothing has changed. Save yourself the trouble and find out at the start - if their motivation for calling you is anything short of what you are after, terminate the conversation politely…but quickly.


Tips

Remove any photos and reminders you have of your ex from your life. Put them in a box and pack them away. You don’t need things like that preventing you from moving on.

Copy down your ex’s email address and phone numbers on a piece of paper, and put them in the same box. Then delete the email address from your computer and their numbers from your phone.

If you are strong enough to delete their contact details without writing them down, then do it! If not, do the above – it will remove the temptation to contact your ex (especially when you are out having a couple of drinks or at home alone in front of the pc ).

Stop talking about your ex with your friends. They’ll get sick of it, and it won’t help you one bit.

[BigCatDaddy]

Don't listen to these guys man. Go to the dinner with her have a few drinks and charm the pants off of her,literally. Taker her back to your place where you already have the camera set up and video tape the action. Just let loose man, put all your frustrations, anger, pain into it. Put her head through the freaking headboard! Then the next day drop off the video to mom and sliP one in the mailbox of the $11/hr BF. Be sure the date in in there somewhere. Maybe show you standing there with a newspaper with todays date on the video somewhere. You get laid and revenge all at once.

You're welcome.

[Psyko Tek]

Originally Posted by Deberg_1990

This.

that

[Psyko Tek]

Originally Posted by Inmem58

Lead the bitch on, show up and act like you have an emergency call.


**** the stupid cheating whore.

eat first stick her with the bill

[BigCatDaddy]

So WTF happened?

[God of Thunder]

Around 4pm, I sent her a text that said "Made other plans, not going to make it" and she then proceeded to ask what I was doing instead....

At the hockey game, I met this cute girl.....got her info and stuff, who knows what'll happen. She (my ex) called and talked last night for about an hour. Asking who all I went with, what I did, I kept telling her it was none of her business.

[Frazod]

I had a lying-ass ex-girlfriend do this to me once. Just wanted to hang out as "friends." I went to the bar and waited and BIG SHOCK the bitch never showed up. And I suddenly remembered why I had always referred to her as "vertically useless."

She called once after that - I just hung up the phone.

[God of Thunder]

Originally Posted by frazod

I had a lying-ass ex-girlfriend do this to me once. Just wanted to hang out as "friends." I went to the bar and waited and BIG SHOCK the bitch never showed up. And I suddenly remembered why I had always referred to her as "vertically useless."

She called once after that - I just hung up the phone.

Well, she told me on the phone that she was dead set on going and was excited for it. I said "why didn't you call/text earlier in the day to talk about it?" and she said that she felt we had plans, and that she was going to call at 5pm when she got off to discuss where, and by that time, I had 'already' made other plans.

[BigCatDaddy]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

Around 4pm, I sent her a text that said "Made other plans, not going to make it" and she then proceeded to ask what I was doing instead....

At the hockey game, I met this cute girl.....got her info and stuff, who knows what'll happen. She (my ex) called and talked last night for about an hour. Asking who all I went with, what I did, I kept telling her it was none of her business.

You told her none of her business for an hour?

[Okie_Apparition]

Now that this drama is over
Maybe MTG can post updates from the yard
Please leave out how you got the phone in

[God of Thunder]

Originally Posted by BigCatDaddy

You told her none of her business for an hour?

No. She talked about some other stuff.....things that she did during the day, etc.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

Well, she told me on the phone that she was dead set on going and was excited for it. I said "why didn't you call/text earlier in the day to talk about it?" and she said that she felt we had plans, and that she was going to call at 5pm when she got off to discuss where, and by that time, I had 'already' made other plans.

Best thing is to move on. "I wish you well. Elsewhere."

[BigCatDaddy]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

No. She talked about some other stuff.....things that she did during the day, etc.

Your hooked on her man. Maybe things will work out after all, just keep putting her off. Letting her have an hour of your time was a bad move though.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

Around 4pm, I sent her a text that said "Made other plans, not going to make it" and she then proceeded to ask what I was doing instead....

At the hockey game, I met this cute girl.....got her info and stuff, who knows what'll happen. She (my ex) called and talked last night for about an hour. Asking who all I went with, what I did, I kept telling her it was none of her business.

Seriously? Seriously?

If this actually happened, you just struck a blow for men everywhere. Congratulations, and good work!

Now, keep doing that and watch how your life improves.