Gorilla Trapping.

[FAX]

Well, here's the problem as I see it. Bananas might work, but gorillas in the wild aren't used to finding them just laying on the ground. Gorillas are likely genetically inclined to climbing trees for those and distrustful of earth-bound bananas. Alternatively, using a sexually attractive female gorilla for bait is a possibility. Unfortunately, selecting an attractive female gorilla is difficult at best, I mean, how can you tell what a gorilla looks for in a girl? Flat nose? Sloping forehead?

Then, there's the problem of the trapping device itself. Do you use a big net and sling up the gorilla with snare ropes when he comes by? Or, do you use a bamboo box trap hung from the trees and drop it on the bugger? How fast are gorillas anyway? Anybody know? The one thing you don't want is an almost trapped, pissed off gorilla looking for the big joker that tried to catch him in a box.

I know that you, the Planeteers, are men of science and are well versed in the ways of metalurgy, explosives, and sexual tension. So, I figured that, if a guy wants to know how to trap a gorilla, this would be the best place to start. To that end, please advise as to the methods you would employ and thanks.

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.

[Hydrae]

Originally Posted by FAX

Okay. Final decision. I'm turning the hedgehog loose.

I did some research and found that a leading hedgehog expert from someplace has warned that, unless drastic steps are taken, hedgehogs could be totally wiped out by 2025. I can't participate in a hedgehog holocaust.

Home Depot has some stuff that you can spray around your yard that will supposedly keep hedgehogs away. I'm going that route and saving a hedgehog for the Earth.

FAX

So now you will force them out of their homes to wander the streets? All the hedgehogs want is to have a place to call home, where they can feel safe from the everyday grind, and where they can relax and enjoy the company of friends and family.

And in the depths of winter too!

[Dartgod]

You better hope that the hedgehog does not take up residence in a gorilla habitat. There will be hell to pay.

[Imon Yourside]

1. Politely hand the gorilla a banana flavored gobstopper
2. Profit

[FAX]

Originally Posted by Hydrae

So now you will force them out of their homes to wander the streets? All the hedgehogs want is to have a place to call home, where they can feel safe from the everyday grind, and where they can relax and enjoy the company of friends and family.

And in the depths of winter too!

You think I'm heartless or something, Mr. Hydrae? Of course I thought about that. It's good to know that I'm not the only hedgehog advocate on this board, though.

Just so you know, I don't believe this particular hedgehog actually lives under my deck full time. I think he cruises through there as part of his evening foraging efforts. Actually, I think he probably lives in the forest behind my house (it's a very large area with lots of trees and hedgehog-looking land replete with grubs and nuts). If he has a home, it's probably there and that's where his wife and kids are hanging out wondering where he's been. I only pray to God that his wife doesn't think he's been with a hedgehooker all night, or something.

It's either death by shovel, relocation, or freedom. I have chosen freedom for this hedgehog because I don't want to live in a world where hedgehogs go the way of the dinosaur and turn into birds.

FAX

[Rasputin]

Originally Posted by FAX

You think I'm heartless or something, Mr. Hydrae? Of course I thought about that. It's good to know that I'm not the only hedgehog advocate on this board, though.

Just so you know, I don't believe this particular hedgehog actually lives under my deck full time. I think he cruises through there as part of his evening foraging efforts. Actually, I think he probably lives in the forest behind my house (it's a very large area with lots of trees and hedgehog-looking land replete with grubs and nuts). If he has a home, it's probably there and that's where his wife and kids are hanging out wondering where he's been. I only pray to God that his wife doesn't think he's been with a hedgehooker all night, or something.

It's either death by shovel, relocation, or freedom. I have chosen freedom for this hedgehog because I don't want to live in a world where hedgehogs go the way of the dinosaur and turn into birds.

FAX

I don't think your heartless at all Fax, misunderstood maybe but not heartless. Good for you for letting that hedgehog go. When you come back from your vacation Fax you can tell us if that hedgehog has come back or if you've seen it latley. That sure is interesting stuff.