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Reload this Page Prayer Request I searched for "Sex Toys" on Chiefsplanet and Broke the F***king Internet!
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Old 08-30-2017, 02:21 PM  
Archie F. Swin Archie F. Swin is offline
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I searched for "Sex Toys" on Chiefsplanet and Broke the F***king Internet!
Vibrator, dildo, marital aids....Chiefsplanet search aggregate times out. (I got the off-white screen of perversion!)

Why did I search for fleshlariats, muffcrunchers and diddlesticks? Because I'm ready to take our (Wife & I) sexing to the next mother****ing level. After 20+ years, its time for kinky, fetishy, fantasy and tomfoolery.

I'm not starting this shit. She's bought some vibrators over the years and its become part of our regular liquor-fueled throw down.

So, tell me you bald, goateed, bloated short dicks....what's rocking your middle-aged sex acts of argression?

I'm prepared for a sophisticated, enlightened dialogue
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:00 PM   #46
stevieray stevieray is offline
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Originally Posted by Archie F. Swin View Post
Not much I dislike. The only thing she tends to be apprehensive about is getting on top. She thinks she's too fat and she doesn't want me to see her. I love the position because I don't have to work so hard and and I get a big rack in my face. Without going into detail, I get the impression she likes to be...umm...stretched out a little.


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....cut the lights.

or just a small candle.


...put on enigma or pink floyd.
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:02 PM   #47
ToxSocks ToxSocks is offline
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Originally Posted by stevieray View Post
....cut the lights.

or just a small candle.


...put on enigma or pink floyd.
If she's self conscious i'd imagine the lights are off quite frequently.

He should probably just accept that she doesn't like it and entertain the things she DOES like.
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:05 PM   #48
Archie F. Swin Archie F. Swin is offline
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Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
If she's self conscious i'd imagine the lights are off quite frequently.



He should probably just accept that she doesn't like it and entertain the things she DOES like.


I just wish I could convince her that I love her body


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Old 08-30-2017, 04:06 PM   #49
ToxSocks ToxSocks is offline
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Originally Posted by Archie F. Swin View Post
I just wish I could convince her that I love her body


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A sentiment shared by most husbands. Women are weird.
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:16 PM   #50
stevieray stevieray is offline
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Originally Posted by Archie F. Swin View Post
I just wish I could convince her that I love her body


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you can...and I believe you. she just needs to see/hear it.

emphasize it.. touch her everywhere.

affirmation during will take you leaps and bounds..
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:21 PM   #51
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Good for her.

Do it.

Lots of lube and take your time. Lick her clit in the process. You must give the tongue action to keep her in the zone. Otherwise you'll probably hurt her.

Or a vibrator on the clit of course.
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:28 PM   #52
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Get her "The Celebrator." You can thank me later.
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:29 PM   #53
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The market research project that I most regret losing was a request to conduct female sex toy research in Puerto Rico. The client decided not to do the project and it broke my heart. I would have done a really good job for them.
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:32 PM   #54
ToxSocks ToxSocks is offline
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Get her "The Celebrator." You can thank me later.
Googled it. Make sure no one confuses it with a battery operated tooth brush
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:50 PM   #55
Archie F. Swin Archie F. Swin is offline
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Googled it. Make sure no one confuses it with a battery operated tooth brush


I would think in a pinch you could make that work


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Old 08-30-2017, 04:50 PM   #56
dlphg9 dlphg9 is offline
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Man, there are some weird convos on here. Not saying the toy thing is weird, just people giving suggestions
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:52 PM   #57
ToxSocks ToxSocks is offline
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Man, there are some weird convos on here. Not saying the toy thing is weird, just people giving suggestions


What's weird about sex?
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Old 08-30-2017, 04:53 PM   #58
Archie F. Swin Archie F. Swin is offline
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Originally Posted by dlphg9 View Post
Man, there are some weird convos on here. Not saying the toy thing is weird, just people giving suggestions


We gotta help each other out. Women are sexual combination locks


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Old 08-30-2017, 05:01 PM   #59
ToxSocks ToxSocks is offline
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i'd advise taking her "shopping". Not sure what the adult store scene is like in Wichita Falls, but in San Diego they're everywhere.

I'd guess she'd be embarrassed at first, but if she can get over it i'm sure being in a sex themed store lined with objects for her orgasmic pleasure would certainly heighten the senses.

Never know, maybe she'll be comfortable enough to pick one off the wall herself.
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Old 08-30-2017, 05:06 PM   #60
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It's pretty simple. Play a game that both of you enjoy (cards, board game, whatever) and make articles of clothing the stakes. Each round or hand you both put in an article of clothing. Winner takes both items. Or if you want to draw it out use two or three markers, players decide whether to use markers or articles of clothing each round. The loser is the person who runs out of markers and clothing first, winner gets to have their way with the loser. Make a lot of suggestive comments during the game and she'll throw it just to see what you'll do when you win. When you win go to the bedroom, dim the lights, tie her to the bed and use your only your hands on her until she has finished at least a couple of times, do it enough to get her to start tiring out. And then just keep going with whatever "moves" you have in your playbook. Make an evening of it. If you do it well she'll take it as a challenge to make this part of your regular routine and come up with her own ideas of what to do when she decides to win.
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