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Old 06-17-2021, 07:23 AM  
luv luv is offline
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Dad Jokes
Father's Day is coming up, and I just feel like laughing. Give me your best dad jokes.

Two that I've heard recently:

What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna 1, Anna 2

When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
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Old 06-17-2021, 11:50 AM   #31
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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My father's favorite joke - in honor of Father's day
Spoiler!
.
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Old 06-17-2021, 12:15 PM   #32
Hoopsdoc Hoopsdoc is offline
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Dad, I’m hungry.

Hi hungry, I’m dad.
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But the kid only spat into the darkness of the space between them. “I know your kind” he said. “What’s wrong with you is wrong all the way through you.”
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Old 06-17-2021, 12:18 PM   #33
Michael Scott Michael Scott is offline
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What do you call a fish with no eyes.

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Michael Scott ....proof positive that somebody pissed in the gene pool.Michael Scott ....proof positive that somebody pissed in the gene pool.
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Old 06-17-2021, 12:26 PM   #34
morphius morphius is offline
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My wife asked my daughter if she heard about the little boy that was kidnapped.

It is okay, he woke up.

(My daughter was like, ugh, that is so old, why, why would you do that to me)
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Old 06-17-2021, 12:29 PM   #35
morphius morphius is offline
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My favorite one lately with my daughter

Daughter: "... how did I end up with you as a Father."
Me: "it was an accident"

I've been laughing over that one for a month now.
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morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.morphius is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-17-2021, 01:31 PM   #36
Rasputin Rasputin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morphius View Post
My favorite one lately with my daughter

Daughter: "... how did I end up with you as a Father."
Me: "it was an accident"

I've been laughing over that one for a month now.


My son once said to me "You mother ****er"


I says back "You're right I am a mother ****er how do you think you were conceived?"
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Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rasputin is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-17-2021, 02:19 PM   #37
Kman34 Kman34 is offline
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Originally Posted by Rasputin View Post
My son once said to me "You mother ****er"


I says back "You're right I am a mother ****er how do you think you were conceived?"
I may be a Mother ****er but the mother I **** ain’t mine...
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Old 06-17-2021, 02:33 PM   #38
KS Smitty KS Smitty is offline
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2 birds were sitting on a perch. One turned to the other and said "Do you smell fish?"
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Old 06-17-2021, 02:34 PM   #39
KS Smitty KS Smitty is offline
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2 fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and said "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
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Old 06-17-2021, 02:36 PM   #40
KS Smitty KS Smitty is offline
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Why did the mortician put a white shirt on the dead man?

The dead man couldn't put it on himself.
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Old 06-17-2021, 02:45 PM   #41
KS Smitty KS Smitty is offline
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.
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Old 06-17-2021, 03:01 PM   #42
Beef Supreme Beef Supreme is offline
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Old 06-17-2021, 03:11 PM   #43
Mennonite Mennonite is offline
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Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.Mennonite threw an interception on a screen pass.
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Old 06-17-2021, 03:19 PM   #44
luv luv is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notorious View Post
I say this to my kids every time we drive by a cemetery.

“You know, the cemetery is a very popular place. People are dying to get in.”

Even as they grow older they still smirk due to the cheese factor.
I heard that one as "Why do cemeteries have fences?"
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luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.luv is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-17-2021, 06:20 PM   #45
PunkinDrublic PunkinDrublic is offline
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